primetime93: summer vacation wear the same shorts over and over again until someone notice it
irresponsibleeyouth: The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
photolies: I’m probably single because I didn’t forward those chain messages when I was 10.
i literally just wanna go to concerts, make out, cuddle, and sleep a lot
preachthepowerchord: howsyourcoffeechadkroeger: preachthepowerchord: alltimeboners: king-for-a-friday-13: cuntphernelia: howsyourcoffeechadkroeger: why do people smash like 12 bands into their url like “alltime-pierce-the-sirens-at-six-with-182-miceandmen” like why because its their url and they want to i mean You are in no position to judge Howsyourcoffechadkroeger thank you...
When you fail a test and your parents say: "You're...
andcanigetahottub: like a good neighbor state farm is there, with some bitches for my hot tub
penguinize: if i ever get a pitbull i’ll name it mr. worldwide
parrillas: multipack: *jesus turns around to find only 11 apostles* “WHO UNFOLLOWED ME”
For a children's show, Adventure Time is full of...
tumblrisweird: Being unable to care for your child Being overpowered by your child Being manipulated into an abusive relationship Being attacked by your spouse Depression and attempted suicide Threat of miscarriage Losing a loved one (or yourself) to Alzheimer’s Not to mention a nuclear apocalypse
Things that say a lot about people: the way which they treat the waiter/waitress how they feel about the weather whether they dog ear pages or highlight in books fingernails and hands in general their preferred creative outlet how much they dread/enjoy talking on the phone whether or not they drink coffee if they ever forget to eat how honest they are with themselves (and others) if...
tumbledore-: Did you fall from heaven? Because have sex with me
yeezytaughtme: people in public always think i’m like twelve but they need to turn that judgement on themselves and ask could a 12-year-old take ya man
uoa: My internet addiction is getting alt of ctrl
penishole: I don’t get why it’s so hard to find a cute boy who wants to get high, cuddle in bed, listen to chill music, and just do nothing but enjoy each other’s company.
megaman2: megaman2: “mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?” “no, i said she was fucking goofy” please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
spookapple: jackvessalius: look what we have here
misha-let-me-touch-your-assbutt: flawlesstrueperfection: you’re a 10? on the pH scale maybe cuz u basic
Meeting my favorite footballer
Me: will you sign this?
Them: wait, what is that?
Me: a marriage certificate
Them: but.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
baby-imhowlinforyou: Damn I’m gonna have to chug this corona in honor of my nigga corona out there on the field mann.. (:
please stop asking me about my future ill cry